I was driving to school this morning and began thinking about missed opportunities in my life.  I’m not really sure why I happened upon that topic and it might not seem like a particularly uplifting thought to start the day but I began to reminisce about some of the experiences I had in high school.  As I look back on my life, I realize that most of my “regrets” occurred during my teenage years – I suppose this is because I am older and wiser now, hence making better initial decisions or it is because there were forces in my life that steered me in the “wrong” direction.  Granted, I’ve had a fairly easy life and my “regrets” are not really life changing to any significant degree but they do help me learn from my mistakes and I’m guessing that many people have had similar experiences.

The first experience I recalled this morning involved my career as a high school wrestler.  I initially joined wrestling because it was a good way to spend my winter between football and baseball.  I was actually okay but never really reached my potential as a wrestler.  This is my “regret.”  I could have done really well, in fact Mr. Perry, my coach, sat down with after a tournament loss and tried to pump me with encouraging words.  He told me that wrestling could be “my sport” if I worked at it.  That’s the rub.  I didn’t really want to work at it.  To be honest, I wasn’t all that fond of wrestling.  Practices would darn near kill you and going to tournaments all day was enormously boring for me.  I wasn’t willing to challenge myself to be better.   Wrestling is as much, if not more, and individual sport as it is a team sport.  I never tried out for varsity because I didn’t believe that I could live up to responsibility; I definitely would have made it (my senior year, we were terrible).  Any failure at the varsity level would have been solely my fault.  I was afraid to succeed at that level.  I later sustained an injury in football which provided me the excuse to quit wrestling.  (Side note – Coach Perry obviously saw things in me that I didn’t – kudos to good people who recognize potential in kids, if only kids listened!)

The other example I reflected upon this morning was the varsity football team I played for as a junior and senior.  We had some good talent on those teams, we were young but had athletes that excelled in other sports and there was no reason we couldn’t have had similar success on the gridiron.  We weren’t bad but we weren’t really good either.  Mounds View was a big time team at that point and I recall being tied with them at half time.  I specifically remembered going into half time feeling really good about ourselves.  It felt that we had won (we met our goal) so we quit playing.  We got smoked in the second half.  Truth is, that particular game followed a horrible week of practice.  We didn’t like our coaches very much and there was a lot of in-fighting between players and coaches (at least by me – and I was a captain – not a very good role model that week).  It is almost as if we lost that game to spite our coaches.  How ridiculous is that?  We had a chance to knock off a state tournament contender and we blew it.  We let our feelings for our coach get in the way of our personal and team success.  We refused to work through adversity and persevere.

Through these reflections I realized that I can’t be afraid of success.  I suppose I wasn’t afraid of success so much as I wanted to avoid the work required to earn it.  success is not given away, it must be earned.  If you are not willing to earn it (put in the hard work), you’ll never be successful, at least not to your fullest potential

These posts have talked a lot about relishing the process and the journey.  I haven’t talked much about the end game .  Yes, it is important to have goals and hopefully you reach them through hard work.  As a teenager, we seem so focused on the result and lose sight of the importance of the process.  Funny how that changes as you get older for some people.  Perhaps a compromise is best, work hard to achieve goals (meaningful goals – not arbitrary ones) but embrace the process of working towards them.  Understand that relevant, important skills, knowledge, and success can be gained in the attainment of a goal as well as the process.

Don’t be afraid of hard work, know that hard work is beneficial despite the outcome.  Some people don’t want to work hard if they believe the goal is not worth it or unattainable.  However, if they don’t work hard, they don’t reach the goal nor do they benefit from the process.  So work hard, you might reach the goal, and if nothing else, you’ve benefited from trying.  At the very least, don’t let silly excuses get in your way.  Challenge yourself.

Another point- your idea of success will change over time, when you grow to be an adult, you might realize that when you reflect upon your life, the goals you  avoided as a teenager might have been the most rewarding to achieve.  On the other hand, you might realize that you have benefited most from failure.

My wife borrowed a handful of GPS units this weekend so that our family could experience geo-caching for the first time.  Her thought was that geo-caching would be a good excuse to get outside, see new things, and spend time with the family.  She was right.  We had a great time this weekend exploring some very common places, and even discovering places around town that we’d otherwise never discover.  While I’m sitting here reflecting upon this experience, I can’t help but think of how it relates to the educational experience for my students.  In many cases, students want to know exactly what is happening, when it will happen, where they are going, etc…for whatever reason, they don’t want to be surprised.

I think it is important for students, and people in general, to be open to surprises.  For those of you who really know me, my saying these words might cause you to chuckle because if there is anyone who doesn’t like surprises, it is me.  Maybe that is starting to change but as our family used the devices to explore town, we enjoyed the time together without ever really knowing what it was we were looking for.  If any of you have done geo-caching before, you know that the end result – the prize at the end – is really not much of anything.  The reward at the end is discovering something, anything, no matter how big or small.  There is satisfaction knowing that this thing you’ve discovered, has been there for a long time, right under the noses of thousands of unsuspecting people.  There is satisfaction knowing that you have done something that many have not.

The weekend was beautiful and our family packed up the van and set out on an “adventure” – following an unsuspecting course that yielded some “treasures” for the kids, and fun for all of us.  Embrace the uncertainty and enjoy the view along the way!

I have been by approached by parents and colleagues recently regarding the “innerworkings” of my grading system.  I decided to put together a reflection of how my system has developed over time so that the information can be recalled all in the same place.  I have posted numerous times before about how the system has developed and what it all means but it will be helpful to consolidate the information in one place.  I will describe my system as ‘my system’ but our district has begun to embark on a journey of standards-based grading and reporting that happens to coincide with the development of my system.  While I embarked upon my system prior to the district’s implementation, much of reasoning is similar, if not the same,  and I am making no implications that I am the cause of such initiatives.  I like to think that my colleagues across the district began to reflect on the purpose of grades and seeking a new way, much in the same way that I did as a Master’s student at St. Mary’s University.

2006-2008

I went through the Teaching and Learning Masters’s Degree program at St. Mary’s University and a major tenant of the program is to develop the importance of self-reflection among teachers.  To be clear, the self-reflection discussed by St. Mary’s professors goes well beyond the typical “practical” reflection teachers do on a daily basis.  All teachers reflect about how a lesson went or how much time we were spending on given tasks.  The model of reflection espoused by St. Mary’s goes deeper; similar to the reflection I’ve discussed on this page before.  Teachers need to think long and hard about why we do what we do and how we do it.  The answers to the “why” questions are most profound in this case.  I embraced the power of reflection and began to look at how, and why, I graded students.  I began to ask questions like, “What does the grade mean?  What stuff do/should I grade?  Why?”

Despite the overwhelming belief that grades are inflated and any changes in my practice would be relatively meaningless in the grand scheme of things, I decided to take control of the practices in my classroom.  After all, I can only control what happens with my students in science; nevertheless, I wanted the grade that my students earned to be meaningful.  I had to answer the question of what it means to be meaningful.  I decided at that time that a grade in my class should accurately represent what the student knows about science (I didn’t really name it as such at the time but this decision gave birth to “standards-based” grading and reporting in my class).  It is important to note as well that this period of reflection coincided with my learning of Backwards Design (an integral component of aligning my curriculum to state standards).

2008-2009

As a result of the reflection previously discussed, I decided that the grade in my class would be based solely on test scores (summative assessments).  I also made the decision to offer no extra credit opportunities as I always had found these to be relatively meaningless anyway.  Taking homework out of the equation was a deliberate move to eliminate the penalty and reinforce the importance of practice.  Why should students be penalized while they are trying to learn something?  They shouldn’t.  After all, the Vikings don’t get to start a game on Sunday with extra points or negative points because of their performance in practice during the week.

To coincide with the move to test only grades, I needed to customize the grading scale.  I was basically using the “traditional” scale but recognized that my class was difficult and thus made a passing grade 50% rather than 60%.  Other minor changes were made as well but, as of now, I can’t exactly remember what those were; furthermore, they weren’t all that significant as to warrant much discussion.  I also recognized, prior to implementation, that some students don’t perform all that well on tests – for a variety of reasons.  To account for this, I developed a Test Corrections process that allowed students to incrementally improve their scores.  After all, if the grade should represent what a student knows, does it really matter when they learned it?  I believe that a specific test date is an arbitrary spot on the calendar that I use to organize the curriculum in my classroom but shouldn’t necessarily punish or reward students for learning at a different pace.  Again, I made a conscious decision that the grade received in my class should represent what a students knows about science; not when they know it, but what they know.

2009-2011

I continued to utilize the 100% test scores and the option of test corrections.  However, the significant difference was the change in points.  At this time, I was back at St. Mary’s performing the requirements to earn my administrative degree.  After discussing the accountability systems and the need to accurately communicate with parents, I decided to alter the scores to more closely represent the system used by the Minnesota Department of Education in their various accountability systems.  There was a lot of discussion in the district at that time, as well, that related a student’s grade to their expected success on high stakes testing.  The state uses a four “point” system in which students are assigned a D (does not meet expectations), P (partially meets), M (meets expectations), or E (exceeds expectations).  I believed that my system should more closely resemble the information parents receive about their students.  After all, the information received by parents on a student report card is(was) largely meaningless because there was no real good way to know how or what a teacher graded.  A formalized grading system wasn’t universally adopted (as a side note, I think this is the key reason our district has embarked upon this initiative – I applaud that wholeheartedly).

I believed, and still do, that if I were an “average” teacher, an “average” student should be able to proceed through my class and pass the state test.  Shouldn’t that be standard of our teachers?  Don’t we expect that any teacher will perform in such a way that an average student be prepared for high stakes testing?  I think so.  Furthermore, in carrying on the idea of “average”, I grew up with a C meaning average.  Therefore, meeting the expectations meant a student would get a C.  In my new system, that meant a 3.  For the first time, I employed the four point scale where 1 indicated a student did not meet the expectations (standards), 2 indicated partially meets, 3 was meets, and 4 was exceeds.  Let me tell you, I had lengthy conversations with parents regarding this system and the fact that it was different.  Those were awesome conversations which helped me explain my point of view and strengthen my beliefs.  Understandably, parents were upset – it felt to many of them that I was making things way too hard but after our conversations, I think the vast majority of them came around and, if not agreed, at least understood.

I should also mention that while I employed the 4 point scale for the first time, the Dept. of Ed also came out with new Minnesota Academic Science Standards that I could use to more clearly focus my instruction.  The trick was trying to determine exactly what it means to “exceed the standard.”  Admittedly, this is still a work in progress and I’ve largely utilized my professional judgment to make these calls.

I discovered at the beginning of 2011 that I was having difficulty assigning grades on tests as either a 3 or 4 or whatever.  I realized that over time, my own definitions of each point were changing  as I graded the tests and realized that certain trends began to emerge.  I couldn’t guarantee that students in 5th hour were receiving equivalent grades to students in 1st hour for equal work.  That was a huge problem because the whole point of the system is to create some semblance of universality.  At that time, I developed the Self-Assessment process which largely placed the burden of “grading” tests on the shoulders of the students.  Admittedly, I didn’t completely think through all the benefits of this process at the time but it has been a great addition to my curriculum.  During Self-Assessments, students get to analyze how many questions they got wrong, which questions they got wrong, and why they got them wrong.  I think all of these variable are integral in determining an overall grade.  When students analyzed their tests, it gave me the opportunity to take a closer look and have discussions with students about their work.  Awesome!  Plus, it allowed students to see for themselves why they are making mistakes and how to correct them.

2011-2012

Much of what was true regarding my system from last year remains the same.  I did, however, switch to a 5 point scale because I felt that the 4 point scale offered delineations that were a bit too broad.  I also liked the 5 p0int scale because it meant that an A=5, B=4, C=3 and so on.  Turns out I, and the rest of the district will soon be moving to a 4 point scale (which makes sense and I will adapt).  I continue to implement the Self-Assessment process and Test Corrections – I have experienced a little frustration with students who appear to be “gaming” the system.  However, I am confident that, if I continue to utilize my professional judgment, have meaningful discussions with kids regarding their work, and continue to implement with fidelity, the system will work.  I do envision minor changes in the future – as all teachers should continuously reflect upon their practices toward improvement.  I understand that flaws will exist no matter how perfect it is.  Such is life.  I also recognize that my system puts a lot of onus on the students to perform.  That’s not at all bad either.  I am here to help and I will do whatever I can to serve students to the best of my ability.  I will always do what is right; knowing that what is right is not always expected, or appreciated, but what is necessary.

In the end, I want my grade to represent what the student has earned and deserves at the end of the trimester in regards to their understanding and application of scientific concepts.

I was approached by my colleague, the same one my previous post mentioned, with a question regarding my thoughts about publishing my writings.  I was a little taken aback; it is flattering to think that someone could think so highly of my writings, especially since I’ve just been sitting down here typing with little to no pre-writing except for thinking in the car or whatever.  I also made me feel a little guilty that I haven’t kept up with my pledge of a weekly rumination – perhaps that’s why I’m on again tonight.

Then I start thinking, heck, it would be pretty sweet to be a published author – but what would the title be?  I mentioned in an early post that I spend a lot of time thinking while I drive home from the cabin; in fact, I pondered the idea of calling this category “front seat reflections” or something like that.  As I was thinking a moment ago, perhaps a good title would be “Reflections in the Windshield.”  There might be some deep symbolism there.  My ruminations are focused on my reflections – looking back at the things I’ve done, my beliefs about various topics, and more.  The term reflections symbolizes the need to look back, however, I don’t look back with regret or despair or nostalgia.  I look back for the purpose of moving forward – the direction through the windshield…hmmmmm….

Okay,  a quick google search didn’t turn up anything on “Reflections in the Windshield” (at least on the first page) so I’m claiming it!

Nevertheless, I then started thinking about what genre this work would fit.  I mean it could cover a lot of stuff on learning and education but I think the lessons I’ve learned through teaching are more pervasive than that.  Would it be a self-help book – sort of a personal fixer upper.  I sort of like that, I like fixing things but fixing people is an entirely different story.  I’ve been trying to fix my wife for almost 10 years and haven’t gotten anywhere!  JUST KIDDING – I love you dear, you don’t need fixing, you are a saint compared to me.  I am the one that needs fixing.  Maybe fixing isn’t the right word but I’m focused on my growth here and nobody else’s.  I just hope that somebody can make a connection with a story or two and it causes them to think twice about something.  Maybe that is the ticket though, focus on fixing yourself – after all you are the only person you really have control over anyway.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to amuse myself for a moment and again, I’m TOTALLY kidding about my wife.  I’m super lucky to have her and should thank her right now for allowing me to exist in her presence.

(A side note – I met my wife in 9th grade, same age as my students are now! weird)

If you’ve been following this website over the course of recent weeks, you are aware that I will be mentoring a student teacher in the coming weeks.  I met Mr. Kaylor for the first time today and as we discussed our mutual expectations for his experience, I implored him to constantly ask questions of not only what I am doing but why.  In doing so, Mr. Kaylor will challenge me to reflect upon what is happening in my classroom and allow me to re-think the reason things are done the way they are.  We all need a challenge in life to stay fresh and I am viewing this upcoming mentorship as an opportunity to challenge myself to become better.  Not all of us are great at finding our own challenges in life.  On the other hand, many of us are challenged in many aspects of life; but I am not just talking about difficult times.  I’m talking about the experiences or people in our lives that cause us to step back and re-evaluate the status quo.  We all need someone to be a challenger in our lives.

I was made aware of this today as I discussed my practice with another teacher in my department.  She has begun to inquire my thoughts on a host of issues related to the experiences we are having as teachers in our district.  Perhaps she sees me as one who can challenge her.  The best news is, in the process of helping her cognition, it allows me to continue the process of self-reflection I began several years ago.  It is a win-win situation for us.  I am looking forward to challenging her, the student teacher, students, and others I may come in contact with throughout my service as a teacher, a father, a husband.

A challenger can be any number of people we come in contact with on a regular basis; heck, it could even be a chance encounter with a stranger.  Every opportunity we have to be questioned should be looked upon as an opportunity for growth.  Some of us might recognize these behaviors in a boss, spouse, friend, or teacher.  I can only hope that each of us has at least one person in our lives that drives us to dig deeper and make progress.  Challengers allow us to reflect, learn, evolve.  It is those challenges that allow us to move beyond the status quo.  W. Edward Demming said, “Change is not necessary, survival is not mandatory.”  I want to do more than survive, I want to grow – in all areas of my life.

Of course, if we are to grow as people with the aid of a challenger, we must first be accepting of the challenge in the first place.  I understand that my students probably have not yet had a profound experience with being challenged and the subsequent growth experience.  I believe they will over time.  However, for this to happen, we must accept that we are not perfect; we must understand that how we perceive ourselves is not the whole reality.  I struggle with this all the time.  We get in a routine of doing things the same way because, at some point, we decided that was right or comfortable or easy, repeated over time our habits become right in our minds.  It takes a challenger to smack us with a dose of reality once in a while.

As my students are reading this (???), I hope the begin to look at challenging times as something more than a temporary experience that needs to be tolerated.  Each experience with a challenge or challenger can and should be valued for what it is, an opportunity to reflect, develop new skills, or reaffirm our beliefs.  Here’s to the challenges and challengers among us.